Beware of pollution.

Picture this – I’m 18 years old, staring at the breakfast menu at McDonald’s.  I’m with friends from church and my 2 brothers, ages 12 and 15 then.  I asked my brothers what they would like to order, knowing that neither of them had money to purchase food for themselves.  I just did what felt natural to me – I offered to buy breakfast for my kid brothers.  No big deal, right?  You can imagine my surprise when they both declined.  I was puzzled.  I asked, “Are you sure?”  They both answered, “Yes."

As I stood on the line waiting to order, my friend Pat approached me and said “You know why they didn’t accept your offer, right?”  I shook my head that I didn’t, and he said “It’s because they wouldn’t do the same for you."

Now a little background on my friend Pat.  At the time, he was in his late twenties, a martial arts instructor with his own studio, who was also doing a bit of motivational speaking on the side.  He was newly elected president of the youth organization at church, and was also a choir member.  I valued his insight, as he seemed like a great role model.

Now back to the story.  Pat went on to explain that my brothers rejected my offer to buy them breakfast because deep down they were the type of people who would not be as generous towards me had I been the one without money for breakfast.  He said there are people who reject kindness because they don’t have it in themselves to extend the same, should the roles be reversed.  He was adamant.  He was sure.  He said I should beware of those types of people because they’re toxic.  I responded, “Wow, that’s an interesting take.”

I knew in my heart my brothers weren’t like that.  I refused to believe that they were inherently selfish people with no capacity for reciprocating acts of kindness.  Despite the natural self-centeredness of youth, my brothers were certainly not toxic people.  And they were only children!!  Young minds with so much capacity for growth and learning.  How could such a highly-esteemed role model make such a grave judgment on people’s character based off one random incident?

Fortunately, even though Pat had the life credentials of a potential role model, I had the common sense to reject the total horseshit he spewed.  But what if I had been a more malleable youth?  At that moment I felt a surge of confidence in myself that no matter what type of authority a person seemed to have, I wouldn’t be steered into believing anything I didn’t feel was in alignment with my personal truth.  That experience is etched into my memory as a reminder of how important it is to be confident in my ability to decide for myself and not easily swayed by other people’s polluted beliefs.  Who knew moments of clarity and self-assuredness could be achieved at McDonald’s?!